I always wondered what God’s intention was in bringing Joshua into our lives when he did. The timing seemed really off… not just to me, but to almost everyone in our lives. The fact that Nick and I have a baby right now still seems to puzzle so many people. “Wow, you’re so young!”, “Was it planned?” and “Whoa, you guys just got married!” were phrases I heard on the regular when we first started telling people about our pregnancy.
Yes, we are young and no, we were not trying to get pregnant. We were confused on the timing of it all… But over the past couple months, I have found myself constantly saying to God, “thank you for being in control. Thank you for not letting me be the one in charge, because had I been, everything would be completely different… I would not be the woman I am today had things gone my way.”
God is by no means required to explain to me why he times things the way that he does… But he has opened my eyes to how insanely BLESSED I am to have had Joshua in His timing instead of my own.
Whenever I ask myself, “Are you sure, God? Do you really know what’s best for me? Are your plans truly better than what I would have chosen?”, I remind myself of Joshua and God’s perfect timing in bringing him into this world. God gets to call the shots… and I am slowly learning to surrender my control tendencies over to Him.
Here are 5 things God has taught me about Himself & His timing through my personal journey of motherhood:
- God desires rest & rejuvenation for our souls
He wants it for us more than we want it for ourselves. The past 3 years of my life have been insane. In the span of 3 years, I graduated from college, watched my mom pass away from a terminal illness, started graduate school, got engaged, got married, got pregnant and had a baby. No joke… all within 3 YEARS. It became clear once I became pregnant that God desperately wanted me to rest. Bringing Joshua into my life was a way for God to give me a solid break, because I would not have done so for myself otherwise. He wanted me to finally heal from my mom’s passing… He wanted to refresh & re-energize my soul.
- God knows us better than we know ourselves
He knew how much I would love being a young mom. He knew I wanted more than a 6-week maternity leave from work, but rather an entire semester off school to be with my son. He knows Nick and I want a large family, which would have been harder to create had we waited 5 years for baby #1 like we originally intended. He knew it all. He knows me so much better than I know myself.
- God wants us to know him deeply & intimately
And he knew that I didn’t. He knew that my inability to give up control pointed to a deep lack of trust in Him. And he wants to change that by giving me time to get to know him and how much he loves and cherishes me.
- God chooses the timing of our birth
Acts 17:26 says “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.”
I believe God is purposeful in choosing when we should be born so that we are given the greatest opportunity to know him. It brings me comfort to know that the timing of my son’s birth was chosen by God for Joshua’s benefit.
- Giving up control is a life-long process
I will constantly be confronted with situations that make me believe my timing is somehow better than God’s timing. In essence, I will always have control issues. Whether it’s parenting Joshua or wanting to perform perfectly in my grad program, I will continually be needing to surrender control over to God.
“One does not surrender a life in an instant. That which is lifelong can only be surrendered in a lifetime.”
– Elizabeth Elliot