This time last year, everything was different.
Well, almost everything. I was sitting in the exact same spot at the exact same conference… alone, in front of the ocean. My bible, journal & a pen in hand. Nick & I were in Catalina with all of our friends/ministry partners. This is exactly where I was yesterday and a year from yesterday:
A year ago during this retreat, I was newly married and newly pregnant… we were going from 2 in the family to 3! I was afraid. I was about to be a mother.
Despite my fears… I knew the truth. I knew that once you get married, you should be willing to joyfully accept children whenever they come. I knew that biblically, God generally packages marriage, sex & children together. Biblically, God always intends children to be a blessing. Jesus himself claimed that the kingdom of God belongs to children. So why was I feeling so sad?
It could have been the surge hormones. Or the fact that my fervently created plans (that I had set in stone) were being flushed down the toilet. But mostly is was this: Everything… literally everything was about to change.
And everything did change!
This year, I sat in front of the ocean… in the exact same spot where I had previously whined & grumbled at God. But this time my baby was not in my belly… he was in my arms! Laughing and smiling at me… I was filled with tears of joy. I am overwhelmed. I am overjoyed. It turns out, my baby was the precious little light at the end of the tunnel:
And here we both were this year, together, sitting in that same spot. This time, my lamenting was turned into praise. “God, look what You have done! Look at all that I was confused about and angry about that is now my reason for joy. The life moment I was utterly confused by is now a beautiful story about the creation of our family. I am in awe of your good works. Thank you for being all-knowing, all-powerful and all-GOOD!”
I love our little family and our beautiful story of how we went from two to three. I am convinced now that each of the little moments in our lives (especially the confusing ones) are merely snapshots of a larger story…. God’s story.
I wonder where we will be this time next year 🙂