I don’t know if there’s such thing as “the 8-month marker”… but I have officially had Josh for the same amount of time that I was pregnant (well… knew I was pregnant). And I cannot believe how much my life has changed.
I am continuously in AWE at all the joys, wonders & beautiful moments I’ve had since the day Josh was born. Even the tears I’ve had since then are still engulfed in praise and worship. How can I not be in a continuous state of gratitude? How can I not thank God for all these little moments? Even when I’m drained, overwhelmed and filled with frustration… I still give thanks. Because, out of all the women in the world, God chose ME to Joshua’s mother. I now know things I never understood before.
I now know what they mean when they say “love at first cry”.
I now know why they say “it’s a type of love you’ve never felt before”. Because the love of a mother is as wild, ferocious, sacrificial & unconditional as love gets.
I now know why they say to “sleep when baby sleeps” during the first few months (even though I didn’t listen). Because otherwise you don’t ever sleep.
I now know why they say that getting through the first month of baby is an incredible accomplishment. Because it was the most exhausting and sleep-deprived month of my life.
I now know the immeasurable joy of seeing your baby smile and hearing your baby laugh for the first time. I’ll do, quite literally anything to hear that little giggle.
I now know the pain of hearing my baby cry… Especially when it’s a result of accidently falling off his baby swing. I think mama was just as traumatized as baby.
I now know the joys of simply watching your baby sleep, all the while being filled with love & adoration.
I now know the excitement of firsts: first teeth, first time sitting up, crawling, smiling, laughing, babbling… every milestone’s a celebration. I now know why they say being a mom is the hardest and best thing you could ever do. Because the things that are hardest about being a mom are also the best things about being a mom.
Everything that makes the job exhausting is also what makes the job thrilling… It’s in being a mom that I now understand the phrase: “You need the mundane to experience the extraordinary“. All the little things are actually, as I now realize them to be, the big things. Nursing, changing diapers, giving him a bath, helping him learn to sit up, crawl, etc… The little moments seem mundane, but are actually extraordinary.
And now, I’m entering a phase where I’m slowly saying goodbye to some of the little things… I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to snuggle with him for as long as I want before he gets antsy wants out. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have enough milk to breastfeed. I don’t know how much longer I’ll get to spend countless hours upon hours at home with him. And come next semester, I’ll be back at school three days a week… during which time I will officially not get to be with my son 24/7. This “job”, which, at times, felt like the most tedious & exhausting of all tasks in the world, is now one that I wish I could devote every second of every day to…
It’s going to be hard to go back to school and enter the working world when my precious little ones at home. But even this new phase will have endless joys. And I am eagerly awaiting all the new moments to be had! I thank God for blessing me with (in my personal mommy-driven opinion) the world’s best baby. I can’t wait to experience a whole new set of firsts with you!